Are You Having Relationship Chats?

How often do you check in with yourself about how your life is going?

How often do you talk to your partner about how your relationship is going?

Are you happy? Fulfilled? Energised?

One of my friends and her partner schedule in a quarterly relationship chat to take stock. They block out an afternoon, choose their favourite spot and spend some quality time checking in with each other.

It doesn’t mean they only check in with each other 4 times a year. But it means they are actively creating a space to celebrate their love, explore their challenges, share their dreams IN ADDITION to supporting each other day to day.

This commitment has always stuck with me.

We prioritise scheduling meetings with our bosses/doctors/dog groomers/dentists/hypnotherapists/architects/the list goes on… and although it might feel a bit stiff – why aren’t we scheduling time with our loved one?

 Here’s 5 tips to make the most of your relationship chats:

1.     Go unplugged! Leave your phones behind or put them away. Give all your focus to this experience

2.     Choose a beautiful location. Somewhere with a nice view/vibe/feel to make you both feel comfortable and in tune

3.     Start every chat with a note of gratitude – what are you grateful for with this person?

4.     Quit the blame game. If there’s something you want to raise that might be negatively perceived, be self aware enough to highlight the facts and deliver with sensitivity.

5.     Be open to and listen for possibility. Too often, we can be resistant to feedback or ideas of the people closest to us. Use this time and space to ask yourselves how you can live your best lives individually as well as together.

Writing these weekly love letters reminds me of the active choices we can make every day to create better relationships, spread more love (not covid) and ultimately, enjoy life.

Let me know what you think. Are relationship chats necessary?